Whether you’re female seeking a male, vice versa, or any sort of mixture, everyone on the planet appears to be searching for another to be with. But what if the soul you should be looking for isn’t that of another? What if the one you should really be looking for is yourself?
I’m all for relationships and I feel they help us to grow in ways we don’t even realise but I also think that we should stop trying to define ourselves by one other person. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the future and who and where I want to be. I have so many aspirations for the future and so many things, I know I can accomplish if I want it badly enough. Most of these goals I have however, are not achievable unless I remain a singleton but with all of my friends striving to find their suitable “other half” or having already found that “other half”, I too feel the pressure to find someone fitting to be there for the rest of my life… Scary thought!
2 months ago I turned 20. A terrifying milestone to be sure but with so much left to give the world, why is it that I find myself wondering if I’ll find someone that can actually make me want to settle! One thing I wish to accomplish is moving somewhere other than here (here being MALAYSIA), preferably Ausie or New York...(as if la) and the only way I can achieve this is to ensure I have no ties such as a “significant other” that doesn’t want to go. I think what’s maybe scaring me is one day having to make the decision between the two; aspirations & career or a love already found? Maybe not so much the decision itself as the consequences of choosing possibly the wrong one. If you make a decision and discover it’s the wrong one, what if you can’t take it back? In the land of relationships, can you ever really take anything back?
One of my friends is happily in love and has his future planned with his guy and he is more than happy to plan it all with him, whereas another of my friends has recently been involved in a form of love square with three guys that all liked him. He took too long to decide what he wanted and has landed up losing all of them. Too afraid of making the wrong decision he ended up making the worst one of not making any decision at all. Then of course I have another friend who suffered at the hands of an abusive man all for the sake of love. Yes I have many friends and each and every one has their tangles. Which leads me to another point; when so many things can go wrong, why bother with any of it at all?
Attitudes are so different these days to what they used to be. People are much more self involved. I think I’m one of these people. Everything is taken at face value including us. Nobody looks at someone and thinks; “Wow, he looks like he has a really nice personality.” Maybe that’s why relationships don’t work these days. Well, not all of them I suppose, I’m generalising again. I suppose not much of this article has made sense, but then again, neither does the subject. Although I am a firm believer that life is much more worthwhile if you have someone there to witness it, I just don’t know if that is what life has in store for me. I think figuring out which is the lesser of the two evils is the task at hand for everyone in contemporary society. Best of luck with that! For the moment, I feel finding my own way in the world is more important, but then again, that could all change tomorrow.
Ok, so a cynic I may be, and I possibly answered one of the questions I already asked. I think I would choose the future I’d already planned over a relationship. A cynic I most definitely am but why shouldn’t I be? Other than my grandparent I have seen no proof that relationship last these days ..
xoxo till then!!~