Monday 26 July 2010

Takdir sentiasa mengatasi tadbir

Takdir daripada Allah, sedangkan tadbir hanya dari kita hambaNya. Kekadang takdir dan tadbir selari, maka terjadilah apa yang kita inginkan terjadi. Namun acapkali tadbir dan takdir bersalahan, maka terjadilah apa yang kita tidak inginkan.

Kita ingin putih, hitam pula yang menjelma. Kita dambakan kejayaan, kegagalan pula yang menimpa. Ketika itu hati akan bertanya, apa lagi yang tidak kena? Semuanya telah kutadbirkan, tetapi kenapa gagal jua? Ketika itu timbullah bunga-bunga 'pemberontakan' dari dalam hamba yang kerdil berdepan dengan Tuhan yang perkasa. Sama ada disedari mahupun tidak.

Apa pun, percayalah takdir Allah mengandungi banyak hikmah. Ia mengandungi mehnah ( didikan langsung dari Allah) yang kekadang tersembunyi daripada pengamatan fikiran biasa. Ilmu semata-mata tanpa iman yang kuat, akan menyebabkan kita terkapa-kapa dalam ujian hidup tanpa pedoman yang tepat. Justeru dengan akal semata-mata kita tidak akan dapat meringankan perasaan pada perkara-perkara yang tidak sejalan dengan diri dan kehendak kita. Mengapa terjadi begini? Sedangkan aku telah berusaha?

Untuk mengelakkan hal itu terjadi maka kita mesti berusaha mencari hikmah-hikmah yang terkandung dalam ketentuan (takdir) Tuhan. Ya, hanya manusia yang sempurna akal (ilmu) dan hati (iman) sahaja dapat menjangkau hikmah yang terkandung dalam cubaan dan bala yang menimpa dirinya. Kata orang, hanya jauhari mengenal manikam.

Orang yang begini akan menjangkau hikmah di sebalik takdir. Dapat melihat sesuatu yang lebih tersirat di sebalik yang tersurat. Ya, mereka tidak akan beranggapan bahawa sifat lemah lembut Allah lekang daripada segala bentuk takdirNya - sama ada yang kelihatan positif atau negatif pada pandangan manusia. Ertinya, mereka merasai bahawa apa jua takdir Allah adalah bermaksud baik. Jika sebaliknya, mereka merasakan bahawa Tuhan bermaksud jahat dalam takdirNya, maka itu petanda penglihatan hati tidak jauh, dan akalnya pendek.

Mengapa terjadi demikian? Sebab iman belum mantap, keyakinan masih lemah dan tidak kenal Allah dalam ertikata yang sebenarnya. Bila ketiga-tiga faktor itu sempurna, maka barulah seseorang itu mampu melihat bahawa di dalam cubaan dan bala yang ditakdirkan mengandungi hikmah-hikmah yang baik. Hanya dengan itu, seseorang akan merasa senang dan bahagia dalam menghadapi sebarang ujian dalam hidupnya.

Bila kita kenal Allah maha pengasih dan Penyayang, kita tidak boleh buruk sangka kepada Allah dengan menganggap apa yang ditakdirkan (ujian) itu adalah sesuatu yang tidak baik. Iktikad (yakin) kita, semua ketentuan Allah itu adalah baik - ujian itu pasti ada muslihat yang tersembunyi untuk manusia, akan menyebabkan hati terubat. Walaupun pahit, ditelan jua. Sematkan di hati bahawa pilihan Allah untuk kita adalah yang terbaik tapi kita tidak atau belum mengetahuinya. Bila terjadi nanti, barulah kita tahu.

Katakan kita ditimpa penyakit atau kegagalan.. Itu mungkin pada hakikatnya baik pada suatu masa nanti. Betapa ramai, mereka yang sakit, akhirnya mendapat pengajaran yang besar di sebalik kesakitannya. Contohnya, apa yang berlaku kepada Cat Steven.. Yang sakit itulah uang menyebabkan beliau mendapat hidayah dan akhirnya memeluk Islam? Dan betapa ramai pula yang gagal pada mulanya tetapi dengan kegagalan itu bangkit jiwa juang yang lebih kental dan akhirnya membuah kejayaan? Hingga dengan itu masyhurlah kata-kata bahawa kegagalan itu hakikatnya adalah kejayaan yang ditangguhkan!

Para ahli hikmah (bijaksana) merumuskan bahawa antara hikmah ujian hati ialah, hati akan lebih tertumpu kepada Allah. Dengan ujian, seseorang akan menambah tumpuan dan penghadapannya kepada Allah. Sebab bala dan ujian bertentangan dengan kehendak, keinginan dan syahwat manusia, seperti sakit, rugi, miskin dll. Dengan ini nafsu akan terdesak, tidak senang dan ingin lepas dari ujian. Bila nafsu terdesak, ia akan terdidik secara langsung. Ia akan tertekan dan menjadi jinak. Hakikat ini akan membuka pintu rahmat Allah kerana nafsu yang liar sangat mengajak kepada kejahatan. Bila nafsu hilang kekuatannya, maka manusia tidak akan jatuh ke lembah dosa dan maksiat dengan mudah.

Hati tidak dapat tidak mesti bersabar. Hati akan terdidik untuk redha dan tawakkal, kerana yakin Qada dan Qadar Allah pasti berlaku, kerana manusia harus terima, tidak boleh menolak ujian itu. Hamba yang soleh menanggung Qadar dengan sabar (bahkan) gembira dengan pilihan Allah. (ujian adalah pilihan Allah bukan pilihan manusia). Tidak ada pilihan Allah yang tidak baik. Semuanya baik belaka.

"..Dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu sedangkan sesuatu itu merosakkan kamu. Dan Allah mengetahui, sedangkan kamu tidak tahu."
(Surah al-Baqarah:216)
Wallahua'lam..
^_^
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Sunday 25 July 2010

Self Motivation

Sometimes in life, we have our ups and downs, we success and we fail, we fly and fall, there is never a consistency. Sometimes we feel happy and sometimes we feel sad, sometimes we can be patient and sometimes we feel like kicking someone's ass, sometimes we feel lonely and sometimes we feel belonging. So the sometimes goes on and on until we die.

This might sound funny and unimportant, but having a good self-motivation is a need. We cant rely on other people to motivate us because they don't give a damn care (almost). We cant rely on motivators that come to our schools or colleges to lift up our inner spirit because all they do is giving theory and that theory might last in your brain for few seconds and gone. We cant blame other people if they give wrong motivation that doesn't suit you because how in the world would they know who you are.

OK, my point is, we understand ourselves more than other people in this planet. Some says our parents understand us more but I don't entirely agree. Parents have different perspectives and emotions, even though they did undergo adolescence, but their adulthood has taken away the feelings and emotions they usually have during teenage years.

We. Ourselves. Us. need to look for the motivation. Its ok to feel sad or to feel guilty, its ok to be angry and to feel hopeless but its not ok if those emotions run inside you forever. Go. find books, watch Oprah, listen to good musics and contemplate for awhile. Let the positivity inside you out and to do that, you have to do it on your own 1st.
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Saturday 24 July 2010

World Peace

Here is the thing. I woke up from bed with every details of my dream still securely placed in my brain. Until now, I feel so sad. In my heart I feel so humble and stupid and useless. Wanna know why? Coz I just had a dream about war. And I was one of the victim. It was the most scaring experience ever.

No matter where I go, the bad guys would try to catch me. They would even find me in the mouse hole. I never felt any endangered than this. I never felt safe. Ok, let me brace myself before I start telling the real story.

I lived among the villagers in a country. All of us were Muslims. The village is located in a valley. Everything seemed so nice and calm. Our life was blessed with children and peace. Unfortunately, our country is overpopulated with people. The bad government quietly planned to killed all of us so the country become less populated.

One day, the government closed the parameter of our village which was actually a boundary between us and the country. They then flooded the village with water. So later on, the village was flooded with water. Of course when it was flooded people would find a way out, now this is the bad part: This is the moment when the villagers appear, they will killed them by slayed them and slashed them with their long sword. It was the most terrifying thing to see.

Everyone was brutally killed when they reached the land. So the only way for us to stay alive is by stay in the water but eventually people will die because there is no food to eat or things to keep ourselves afloat.

My dad, told me to leave him behind and find help. He told me to escape alone because he was too old and didn't have energy to go on. I cried. I knew that I had to leave my dad. So I braced myself and quietly escaped from the brutal soldiers. But the leader (The nastiest one), spotted me and ordered them to get me. So, I ran as fast as I could. I knew there was no way out. I will get caught because the soldier is just too many, so I slipped into a house of a priest. I told him while asking for mercy not to tell the soldiers that I was there. Then I ran to the bathroom and hid behind the door.

"Allah please save me," I prayed to Him. Then the door was slowly opened, It was the priest. He had a peak around and said loudly, "Nope, no one is here" to informed the soldiers that I didn't hide in his house. A moment later, another guy came in, it was not the soldier but he said the same thing. Followed by the other guy and a women. Then, when the soldiers had gone I could see an eye peaking on me emerging from the same door that I hid behind. Then the priest said to me, "Young man, tell me what happen."

So I told him everything. And I cried. I cried. I cried.

Guys, I could not imagine if the same exactly real thing happened to me. Living in a place that has war going on is never good and just never!! Imagine children all over the world that face what I face in my dream everyday. It also made me realize how important peace is and just how cruel human can be. Look at Gaza, Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Ethiopia, etc. They never had opportunity like us to live in a peaceful country called Malaysia.

Deep inside my heart I hope, no matter what races we are in Malaysia, let us keep our tolerance at the maximum level in tolerable issues. Let us just lived together with harmony and respect each other as well. Peacefulness is the gift from Allah and may Allah keep it going on in our country Malaysia. Amin..

Adios~

(P/S: many parts of my dream I didn't tell because it would be too long and I also had the same type of dream before)
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Friday 23 July 2010

Got Stuck in a complicated situation!!

Salam,

Superb because the internet right now is pretty fast. now I am in the Ariba surfing the terribly slow internet. But fortunately I can access my Blog and write a new entry today! yay for me!OK, I wont have a relaxing weekend this weekend. Coz I have so many things to do. Need to settle the homework, the presentations and some other co-curricular activities. Tomorrow, which is Saturday, I have dance activity in the morning until afternoon.


Now classes have started and homework starts piling up. Presentations are mountains lot. and this is totally not SPM-based learning. Teachers want us to do researches by ourselves. No more spoon feeding. But I have to face the music. I wanna fly!Still it is to early for me to say that I am busy. There are more hectic conditions waiting for me in this semester 3. Special thanks to all my group members for making my day and changing my view about life!


I just got back from Friday Prayers. Today the Khatib (Preacher) brought forward a very hot and the most current issue - Palestine. I listened to every single word of it and yeah, I totally agree with the khatib. He mentioned how important Palestine to Muslims all over the world. I can recall few things:

1. Its the muslim's 1st Qiblah.
2. It was where Isra' and Mikraj took place.
3. It locates the 3rd most sacred Mosque in Islam - The Masjidil Aqsa.
4. Solehuddin Al-Ayubi freed Palestine and he resembles the unity spirit of the Muslims regardless of races and countries because he was not an Arab but strive to free Palestine in the name of Islam.

Well, actually there are many more. Not only Palestine is considered sacred to Islam, It is also considered sacred to Jewish and Christianity. The Jews claim that Palestine is the holy land where Haikal Sulaiman is located. They also believe the land belongs to them as stated in many previous consensus and agreements. While Christianity believes that Palestine is where the land of Jesus Christ was born. So Palestine is a very famous land that many people are trying to empower. As a muslim, I believe the righteousness goes to Islam. My justification? Simple, Islam has ruled the world back in it's glorious era and each and everyone of them regardless of tribes, religions and colours benefited from the Islamic governance. There are also many concrete proofs that Islam has the most right on the holy land.

While I was listening to the preach, something distracted my attention. It was a very familiar sound that I usually hear whoen I was in a room with my brothers in the middle of the night. Yes! the sound of snores! The worst thing that could happen is when you were sitting right beside him!

The sound of his snore got louder. I felt pity for him coz everyone was looking at him and he didn't realize that. On the same time I didn't know what to do. Do I have to wake him up or do I just have to focus on the preach instead and ignore him. The thing is, I cant simply wake him up because he is way older than I am, and that would be considered as rude! On top of that, maybe I'll make it more obvious and later on he will be more embarrass if he find out that he slept and more significantly snore!

So, My question is, which one will you prefer to do? wake him up and get scolded or ignore him?

Adios~



Well I need to study now. Wanna be like Jane! haha. later guys!


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Tuesday 20 July 2010

sms abah


"Zakatkan fitrahmu ... bangun."



terima sms ringkas ni. dari abah yang dah tua. tp beliau tetap gagah dan sihat. melebihi aku sendiri. sms ini aku terima semalam. bukan tidak pernah. selalu ... bagai untuk selamanya. tapi lain benar bunyi mesej yg ini. mungkin perasaan saja. untaian kata itu aku dasari setiap aksaranya. terpaku lama. terus baca. lagi dan lagi. dalam mamai di subuh itu, aku balas sms tersebut ...


"abah, tak paham."

"fikir ..."

"tak paham ..."

"apa fitrah manusia ?"

"konsep ON PANAS &  hantar ke 28888,  camtu ke?"

"bodoh kau!"


>>___<<


abah2, selalu begitu. kalau koorg tak paham. aku pun ambil masa nak paham. almaklong aku lembab! heh3x. dulu, aku x  pernah nak share apa2 yg peribadi dengan koorg kat sini ... secara jelas. lalu, untuk sekali ni. dengan rendah hati. aku  "forwardkan" sms abah wa ni untuk lu org.  :)


Sejauh ini. Sejauh langkah kaki ini. membawa sedikit rajuk di hati pada beliau. namun, abah masih di situ. tetap setia memerhati. tetap setia menjadi insan yang paling memahami. ahhh, mahu pulang. berkongsi cerita lagi. tentang coli merah atau mawar putih mungkin.

wassalam.

...

member wa pnh kirim sms

"... ko forward mesej ni g 100 org dlm 24 jam.
kalau tak, lu masuk neraka!" 


harus aku hangin, cilake tool. tp aku rilex2. sambil pasang
lagu surti-tejo dr jamrud kuat2, aku balas sms beliau. aku bilang 


"Fuck You".


p/s : thanks abah for the wake up sms

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love relief


In my opinion for number :
1. Bunyinya menarik,but i dont know how it is, (just love someone u love le,its not true love ke?)
2. Ahaks, ini yg buat makan tak lena,mandi x kering tido tak lalu ni..ish ish
3. Why bullet? sbbnya ia pantas rite,baru knl sminggu pun da nk jatuh hati ngeh2
4. Wawawa..panahan asmara mu tiada kesan,aku egois!
5. Alehai comel ;P ..blaja dulu rajin2 dik hek2
6. Bangang,mmg la love akan camtu,korang da expect ke korang akn bercinta dgn si dia?sampah
7. Memilih sgt sape suh
8. Eternal?abadi/kekal?y the symbol like that?mcm pasrah je..
9. Ahaha..gile2..

And so i am HAPPY today. Why? Because :
She said, "I never was angry or held anything against you when you were angry at me everyday, because i believed you would love and cuddle me and treat me like your most prized possession yet again. I do, and i always will."

L-O-V-E. LOVE YOU BABE. Love isn't all about feeling right and having fun times, its about giving and sacrificing for the relationship, because you know she will always be there with you to tide you through every moment of your life until she can't anymore. Love, I'll tell you what love is - love is you at 80 and her at 78, and both of you listening out for the other's movements, afraid that a sudden silence, a sudden cry, could mean that a lifetime's talk is over.

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Monday 19 July 2010

Manifesto 3rd sem

Politik :
Aku akan lebih cenderung mematuhi peraturan universiti. Seperti datang awal. Meniru assignment kena buat lagi kemas. Nak main politik memang kena mcm ni sikit lah brader. Politik songsang mcm cucuk cucuk lecturer bagi markah lebih. Tu biar parti haluan kiri saja yang settle.
baby is slalu memberontak klu lambat d hantar ke taska.
aku pun kene cam tu kot
Ekonomi:
Tak berapa nak bagus. Sampai nak beli hanger dekat Tesco pun pikir dua tiga kali. Letih jugak aku memikir. Aku jenis suka pesen beli satu kaler saja. Taste ntah apa apa. Nak mengaku hanger sndiri pun susah kalu gini. Huh. Nak kena blajar lipat baju lagi.


 almari aku da xmuat.
Sosial : 
Dah 1 tahun blaja dok paw pen org buat menulis. Pegi final pun teraba jugak. Patutlah berkat tak ada. Macam gampang. Semangat Semester TIGA. Aku dah beli stabillo 4 batang tadi. Sapa sapa hilang pen. Cari orang lain lah pulak. Nanti orang tak risau dah nak dekat dgn aku. Barangkali lah.
pen merah pen biru. u marah i love u
Ibadah:
Subuh kena semayang jadi orang beriman sikit. Ni makcik tukang sapu dah bergosip tepi tingkap baru nak bangun apa cerita. Maghrib kena pasang playlist Sheikh As Sudais sekali sekala.
Pray n study harder
Lain-lain hal:
Kena belajar basuh baju seminggu sekali. Tak bole ikut jenis peel kat rumah lagi. Peel orang kaya jenis campak baju belakang pintu. Hari hari ada orang kutip tolong basuh. ughh leceh. Pagi pagi bangun kena lipat selimut. Orang comel memang kena ikut tradisi camni sikit kann.


aku kadang2 kesian dengan bibik. die sangat gigih melaundry

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missing

but you ain't. and that really sucks big time. I went home after audition , reached home at 1am, last nite. 


I can't sleep this few nights. You've been gone and its been so long, but i only miss you more and more its eating my heart out. I can't touch you, can't feel your body's warmth against mine, can't see you acting cute, can't do ANYTHING with you. Nights have been so sleepless and you've been swimming around in my head.


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MANTRA review


Dibintangi oleh:
Zul Handy Black, Hasnul Rahmat, Ana Dahlia, Mas Muharni, Bob Lokman dan Hamdan Hj Ramli


Genre:
Seram Aksi


Tarikh Tayangan: 15 Julai 2010


‘Mantra’ merupakan filem seram pertama dan terakhir menjalani penggambaran di Penjara Pudu yang berusia lebih 100 tahun itu.

komen saya :
Tak teruja nak menjerit
Tidaklah Mengecewakan Dan Tidak Juga Mengujakan!

Member 1 :
tak seram pun. 
Bagus! Tetapi Ada Scene Yang Bagus Dan Masih Ada Yang Tak Bagus!

Member 2 :Filem Jangan Pandang Belakang Yang Paling Best!

Member 3 :Rubbish! filem malaysia sangat streotype

Member 4 :Lucu! kelakar part orang tua dlm penjara tu

Anda :
Tontonlah sendiri kerana masing - masing ada pandangan masing - masing!

SELAMAT MENONTON


Aspirasi Azahari seperti yang dikongsinya dengan media ialah mahu mendidik masyarakat mengenai keburukan dan kebaikan ilmu hitam.

“Jika kita gunakannya untuk tujuan yang baik, tidak mengapa tetapi apakah yang akan terjadi jika kuasa itu digunakan untuk tujuan yang tidak elok.

Ilmu hitam @ sihir yang ada sangkut-paut dengan iblis dan syaitan adalah haram sama sekali untuk diamalkan, meski dengan tujuan kebaikan seperti meraih keuntungan perniagaan, menarik cinta wanita ataupun memelihara dan memagar rumah dengan bantuan ilmu hitam.

Macam mana pula boleh dikatakan yang 'ilmu hitam digunakan untuk tujuan kebaikan itu, tidak mengapa?'

Sabda Nabi s.a.w.:
"Pengubatan sihir (dengan menggunakan sihir) itu adalah dari perbuatan syaitan". (Ahmad dan Abu Daud)

 Jadi, si pengarah, tanya-tanyalah dahulu pada alim ulama sebelum berkata itu-ini tentang sihir.

Pelik betul. Mengapalah ramai pengarah filem sekarang ini hendak 'mendidik masyarakat' dengan menghasilkan filem-filem seperti hantu, sihir, gay, lesbian, pelacuran, gaduh dengan polis,dan banyak lagi elemen-elemen buruk dalam filem ?

Tidak ada lagi ke kemurnian dalam masyarakat kita yang boleh ditonjolkan ? Ataupun tidak yakinkah pengkarya kita pada syariat agama yang luhur dan murni untuk dijadikan panduan dalam berkarya...?


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Thursday 15 July 2010

kosong


Aku heran kenape lately aku cepat naik angin and marah2, kenape aku rase mcm stress walaupon takder kerja yang kene buat. kenape aku rase mcm hidup aku nie kosong semacam.

Setelah hari demi hari aku berfikir, aku mula membaca buku2 motivasi yang ada di library. kadang2 buku itu menjadi sgt berguna kepada aku sebagai teman. seolah2 die mengexplainkan semua kekusutan yang ada dalam kepala aku nie. aku mula belajar sedikit demi sedikit tentang diriku ini.

Aku perasan, sejak keluar sekolah, aku tak berapa nak minat melakukan sesuatu amalan keagamaan seperti aku di MNS dahulu. Ma'thurat, Al-mulk, dan lain2. Aku tahu amalan2 ini bukanlah sesuatu yang wajib dilakukan, tetapi terdapat kemanisan yang tidak boleh diterangkan secara lisan. Aku percaya akannye dan berharap agar terus mengamalkannye, InsyaAllah. Sekarang baru aku sedar betapa slogan fastaqim kama umirta itu adalah sangat berat untuk diikuti.

Aku juga terasa kekosongan kerana kawan2 dah takder.. aku kat sini siyes mcm boring. What I need is a friend sebenarnye. utk aku berkongsi masalah aku dan bergurau-senda, gelak ketawa. aku rindu mereka. Kadang2 lepas aku call member2 aku rase tenang dan cukup gembira. aku pon tak tau kenapa. lepas aku dgr suare dieorg, automatically aku rase motivated utk meneruskan hidup aku dgn cara yang lebih positif. aku tak stress and aku rase aman. mungkinkah ini merupakan sindrom kesunyian teman??

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Wednesday 14 July 2010

ketika malam tiba

Ketika malam tiba
segera kau berlalu
tak sedetikpun mau menunggu
tak sekatapun kau mengajakku
tak sejenakpun melihatku
tak setitik tertinggal bayangmu
tak ada.
Tak ingatkah sedikitpun
cerita-cerita yang kukisahkan
senyum dan canda yang kuciptakan
kesejukan yang kutawarkan
helaan penuh kesabaran
yang hantarkan kegembiraan
yang usirkan kesepian
hilangkan kesedihan
hancurkan kekhawatiran
dan sirnakan ketakutan.
Semua terlupakan
seperti matahari melupakan bumi
ketika terang harus berganti
dan gelap mulai melingkupi.
Aku di sini
kesepian
sedih
khawatir
dan ketakutan...

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Tuesday 13 July 2010

i am emo after all


I'm emo
Inside.

The thing is there is just so much emotion pent up in me
So much
anger
frustration
hurt
betrayal

you name it.

The thing is,
I do not know how to express them anymore.
I can't cry anymore
I do not now how
It's like the clown make up is permeanant.

I just can't look sad.

Maybe its just that I do not want people to feel my pain.
My pain is for me
And me only


I do not want people to feel my pain
I hated seeing people cry
Might as well not cry myself.

I want them to be happy.

In order for that to happen,
I need not let them know the pain inside.

I just have to hide it
and wait for it to slowly fade away.
Thats all.

Its kinda emo actually
In fact, I think of just putting a smile on my face.
A permeanant one
like joker's..

lol

They say it feels better to just let it all out.

But I feel
Seeing people not being hurt is good enough
seeing people happy
is good enough.
I can't cry anymore.

i'm always smiling


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Monday 12 July 2010

On the brink

I used to say, your smile brings me back from the brink of destruction. I guess I can't say that now. Cause every time i look at you i remember once again how i used to have you, how you used to belong to me. only me. Do you know I'm afraid? I'm afraid of looking at your photos because they cut deep inside me and i feel like dying but i know i can't. I can only hold on, to this once so meaningful life i enjoyed with you by my side. A big thank you to Fareez(turn up more!!!), Aiman(nothing beats anytime company) and Teh, who have been there for me whenever i needed some company and was feeling really down. 

Do you know I'm really curious to find out the reason why you left? But I'm tired, like you are. I don't want to decapitate myself when i was just beginning to stand up. I miss you babe, more than anything else in the world. I won't forget you. I won't throw away anything you gave me. Especially the necklace, it'll be on my neck. It's for me, to remember you once held me like i was yours. Even just for a moment, i want to imagine you there, behind me, holding me as tight as your arms would permit. Even just for a moment, i want to relive that memory. I love you. Thank you. Thank you for all the memories i can now treasure, as something that i would forever remember, deep inside my heart.

I really miss you.
♥ Terima Kasih Kerana Sudi Membaca Entry Eddy Ezally ! Sila Beri Comment and Like la Kalau Suka ! ♥

Sunday 11 July 2010

what the fuck i am doing. dont know.

I've gone crazy i think. I haven't been sober much since 18 and Alive, and i think that while i still am, right now, 1.14 am on Monday, i should say this. I still love you Fiqa, not one bit less, in fact, so much more.

I had you wiped out of my life for the past donkey weeks, i lost track of how long. But today, as i was looking back at my photo album remembering my secondary school days, i found the last things i kept about you. Your neo-prints.

I broke down and i never thought any feeling i ever had in the past 18 years was anything like this. I could beat myself up for forgetting how your hug feels like. But I'm glad, that as i lay my fingertips on your face, i can now see your face, without any imagination involved. I can use all of my mind to miss you instead of just trying to imagine you there. 

But as i smile my nose wrinkles up forcefully and I realized how much i miss you. I realized how much i actually love you. I'm tired, i don't want any girl, not anymore. Please, i really don't want any other girl ever existent in this world. I know I'm not good at words Fiqa, but i just want to say, not as myself, but as a man who's all alone. 

I want to say I'm glad you left and vanished and you never looked back, never came in contact. Because I'm glad you left without any regret, and lived your life happier without me. And knowing you are happy, I don't really care what happens to me in return. Hahhaa, no, i really don't care. I'm serious. 

Ko ma wa, ja gi ya. Thank you for loving me, thank you for letting me have you, because i think it was the most beautiful thing that ever happened in my life. Your love made me, i couldn't have been me without you, Fiqa. Your love allowed me to become a man, to see how unpredictable love is. You are special, you were, you are, you will always be special to me. 

I have never ever felt this way with a girl before. Thank you Fiqa, because the next time if i ever feel something like this, I'll know how much i love the girl already. God, if someone were to give me a phone right now, I'll call you and say, "sa rang hae." 3 words, and nothing more. I don't want to ruin your life, I don't want to disturb you, I just want you to know babe, I love you.
♥ Terima Kasih Kerana Sudi Membaca Entry Eddy Ezally ! Sila Beri Comment and Like la Kalau Suka ! ♥

Friday 9 July 2010

f**k

Sometimes nowadays i feel like i just don't want to do anything at all. Just do almost nothing for hours hanging in front of the computer, watching television programs and lazing around singing. But i can't.

There's work to be done, things to be done, plus i have to play pool. Sometimes i just want everything to stop, so i can have all the time to myself to enjoy life, to stop and look around. 

Or maybe I'm just finding a excuse to think of you.
♥ Terima Kasih Kerana Sudi Membaca Entry Eddy Ezally ! Sila Beri Comment and Like la Kalau Suka ! ♥

Thursday 8 July 2010

TWILIGHT ECLIPSE review

Persoalan BELLA perlu memilih EDWARD atau JACOB 
persoalan BELLA mahu berkahwin dengan EDWARD atau tidak.
Persoalan bilakah BELLA akan berubah menjadi vampire.
Persoalan adakah VICTORIA berjaya membalas dendam.
Persoalan apa yang ECLIPSE akan sajikan

Semua ada dalam TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE nie
jum tengok!!

ni review sy psl TWILIGHT : e c l i p s e 


Dimana kali nie lebih banyak persoalan, keputusan dan pendedahan

eclipse  bermula di seattles dengan satu kejadian seorang pemuda diserang.Sebagai simbolik la kan permulaan baka baru VAMPIRES yg dilakukan oleh VICTORIA bagi membalas dendam terhadap kematian teman lelakinya. Di forks plak BELLA masih hangat bercinta dengan EDWARD,tp pd waktu yg sama JACOB masih mengharapkan BELLA. setiap pertemuan EDWARD dan JACOB akan menimbulkan perkelahian. Bapa BELLA ingin BELLA kurang bergaul dengan EDWARD dan lebih bergaul dengan JACOB kerana selama BELLA berkawan dengan EDWARD telah banyak mengalami pelbagai perkara yg memelikkan.

Dalam ketika ini juga ALICE telah dapat vision tentang kedatangan VICTORIA ke FORKS dan menyuruh EDWARD bawa BELLA melawat ibunya sebelum BELLA berubah Dan sementara CULLEN sekeluarga dapat menjejak VICTORIA.Namun ALICE telah mendapat 1 lagi vision Di mana VICTORIA sedang membuat 1 kumpulan tentera BAKA BARU VAMPIRE yang akan datang ke FORKS bagi membunuh BELLA Dan perkara ini telah membuatkan CULLEN dan SERIGALA bergabung bagi menghadapi hari tersebut Semuanya bagi menyelamatkan BELLA.mereka diketuai oleh JASPER Yang sesungguhnya sangat mengetahui selok belok BAKA BARU VAMPIRE nie.Kewujudan BAKA BARU VAMPIRE ini juga telah diketahui oleh pihak VOLTURI dan juga telah membawa mereka ke FORKS dan mengetahui yang BELLA masih manusia ECLIPSE juga ada ditunjukkan pendedahan ROSLYN yang envy dengan BELLA Dan menceritakan apa yang berlaku kepadanya dahulu Dan JASPER sendiri ada menceritakan kehidupan lamanya kepada BELLA.

25 BINTANG dari 10 BINTANG
waka waka!!

♥ Terima Kasih Kerana Sudi Membaca Entry Eddy Ezally ! Sila Beri Comment and Like la Kalau Suka ! ♥

Sunday 4 July 2010

Friendship benchmark

bee, ade orang ajak kite kawan biase...tapi, kite kawan x biase ngan die...
ooo...bis tu awak kawan biase macam mane?!
hurmm...
awak tau ke die kawan biase macam mane? maybe 'benchmark' die x same ngan awak...
haah...itu kite x tau lah...

and then, i was silent for a long, long time...thinking...

i have never come across this interesting thought...now that it has popped up, it makes me realized that i don't have kawan biase because i can't properly defined (as in benchmarking) the term 'biase'...

i guess i treat each of my friends differently in my own special way...all of you are special and dear to me OK...

indeed i am truly grateful i have special people around me...yeay...alhamdulillah...

oh yaa...to all my special friends - i don't mind to be your kawan biase or kawan tak biase as long as (i hope) whenever you hear my name anywhere, anytime; somehow i cross your mind and you will smile and say,"hey, he's my friend!"

and don't expect biase to come from me yaa...yes...i can be your kawan biase (applicable to all) but none of you are my kawan biase...remember all of you are my kawan-kawan tak biase...

please do what friends do best - be a good friend...a good friend accepts a good friend the way he/she is...

eddy ialah begini...

eddy sayang kawan-kawan tak biase eddy semuanya :)

♥ Terima Kasih Kerana Sudi Membaca Entry Eddy Ezally ! Sila Beri Comment and Like la Kalau Suka ! ♥

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