loneliness

I'm alone in my bed and I've made the blanket into your shape again. I kiss it like i kiss you, and i wrap my right thigh around "your" left, like i always do, and i lock it so "you"'re close up against me. But you're cold and as i hold you, your shape goes away. And once again I'm looking at my blanket, lying in my arms. Even for that second when i imagined you there, when i knew it wasn't real, i was truly happy. 

How about you babe? Are you in your bed in Kuching, in the boarding school, missing me? Have you thought of me at all? Do you see people who look like me and stop and stare, wondering, even for an absurd moment, that i was in Johor? And do you try and feel me beside you in your bed, there beside you where i used to lay? 

If you read this, let me tell you I'm dying without you. I need you back. I need you to hold me and tell me you're not leaving anymore, that you'll be with me forever from now on. I need the impossible.

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stupido

Sebagai muqaddimah.

“In mathematics, a percentage is a way of expressing a number as a fraction of 100 (per cent meaning "per hundred")” . 

Macam cilake.

Puas aku dok ngobek lagu mana menatang ni wujud. Tak jumpa. Apsal nak dinisbahkan kepada 100, bukan 10, mahupun 1000? Pong dok jupe.

Stupido list 

#5 Eskalator: 20.2% pengguna eskalator takut untuk first step. Golongan ini terdiri daripada umur baya Amani ke bawah, dan juga orang tua bersara dari kerja bukan kerajaan. Lebihan 79.6% pengguna adalah pemaki tegar bila eskalator rosak. So, where the damn 0.2%? Mereka mengalami sindrom hilang keyakinan yang teruk terhadap eskalator. Selepas eskalator juga menjadi pilihan rempuhan kereta.

#4 Politik: Hampir 100% orang politik bercakap tentang politik parti ketika musim pilihanraya. Dan peratusan ini hampir kekal dan kadang kadang berkurang menjadi 99.2% selepas musim pilihanraya. Dimana hanya 0.8% tersebut adalah orang politik yang tidak bercakap tentang politik parti, tapi lebih ke pembangunan kehidupan rakyat selepas pilihanraya. Cilake apa?

#3 Internet: 88.5% pengguna internet banyak bertumpu ke arah pembangunan insaniah dan kemasyarakatan. Iaitu login Facebook tengok notifications, Myspace dan sampah lain untuk search awek comel yang bergambar sendiri pakai kamera hanset. Separuh daripada peratusan ini juga memiliki akaun sebagai seorang belogger. Pada masa sama, seorang pemegang akaun Twitter dan Formspring, menambahkan lagi ke'indie'an. Macam gampang. Lagi 11.5% pengguna internet adalah seorang fokus terhadap kerja. Termasuk budak budak 

#2 Indie: Hampir 90% band indie menamakan band mereka dengan lebih dari 3 patah perkataan seperti Meet Uncle Husing, Suger Love Chokies, Greey Skay Morning, Jeanna & Co dan lain lain. Yang mana pendapat ahli ahli perniagaan, nama ini sememang cilake untuk komersial. Dan memang tepat kata ahli perniagaan, hampir 89.5% gagal ketika komersial. Lebihan 10% adalah band yang sekali dua das sebutannya, seperti hujang, bunkfece, modreed yang mana cemerlang ketika komersial. Tapi 3% daripadanya pun lost juga.

#1 Blogger: 64.5% blogger adalah dari puak blogspot, 35% dari Wordpress, dan baki 0.5% adalah berstatus unknown. Blog dekat Friendster mungkin.lol. 34% dari keseluruhan blogger adalah seorang blogger Cinta dan Airmata. Dimana hampir 87% entry hanya tentang kesedihan, kecilakean, ketandusan dan kegersangan cinta. Berbanding 13% adalah tentang kebahagian, kemurnian dan ke-berlagakan cinta.

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saya penganggur

Pejam celik pejam celik rupa-rupanya sudah lebih sepurnama, aku duduk di rumah. Tiada berbuat apa-apa melainkan menjalankan kegiatan domestik seperti makan, minum, melayari internet dan tidak lupa berpeleseran di kedai-kedai mamak, alamanda, mines, times square dan pusat karaoke bersama teman-teman kala kekayaan melimpah ruah.

Tetapi bila kekayaan yang melimpah ruah itu habis dan kering-kontang, aku mengambil keputusan untuk berpeleseran pula bersama ibu dan nenek tercinta di gedung-gedung sekitar singapore dan juga pasaraya-pasaraya besar yang menawarkan jualan murah. Ini semua dilakukan bagi menghilangkan kebosanan di samping meluangkan masa berkualiti bersama famili. Lagi satu keluar dengan mereka tidak perlu keluarkan duit walau sesen sekalipun. hihi. heaven sangat!

Sejak bergelar pengggangur ni aku rasa seolah-olah diri ini seperti tiada masa depan. Seolah-olah diri ini tidak berguna. Yelah duduk rumah goyang kaki sambil tengok WONDERPET. Ianya tidak mendatangkan hasil melainkan aku dah hafal semua lagu yang dinyanyikan oleh tiga ekor binatang perliharaan dalam cerita tersebut.

INI SERIUS..

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Now i`m happy!!

I'm feeling much better now after some quality beer. I wanna say here, that i really think that I am doing real good right now, with friends, pool and my family. Life's never been better. Stress from university is as per usual, never expected it to diminish, I've just learned how to deal with it. I want to say thanks to everybody who made the extra effort to be there for me. And wantieha, i guess we both agree that time alone helps alot. syahir ez,aiman,jannah,amin also

I've changed alot from how i used to be, and i feel good this way, without so many worries and commitments. Perhaps it was only after I've gone through all those hectic times that I've finally comprehended how to appreciate a simple life. 

syahir  asked me, "So do you still think of him?"

I did not hesitate to tell her the truth, because I still do, every single day. The only difference is I no longer look back at it in pain, because a memory this beautiful shouldn't be a tool for inflicting hurt on a person. I've slowly learned how to look at the best times we had and every single moment we shared, and smile. I often tell myself that i would rather have lost you than to have never met you at all, because our love was worth every step i took until i met you. 

p/s: That means that as long as your face still lights up with my favorite smile, even if it isn't because of me anymore, 

I'm happy.

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UPSR , PMR di mansuh?? hmm..

Utusan yang kata semalam. Bukan aku kata. Tapi TPM kata. Pikir dulu. hek hek . Katanya, budak la ni lebih ke belajar untuk exam. Bukan belajar secara holistik. Holistik lah sangatt. Ek eleh.

hek eleh

- Status tahun honeymoon budak tingkatan 4 dah tak berapa special dah. Sebab kita akan honeymoon dari darjah 1 lagi. Horeyyy. Serupa gampang.

- Kemasukkan ke MRSM dan SBP akan dikira sapa cepat dia dapat. Namun, lulusan cemerlang dari institusi tadika dan taska, akan diutamakan.

- Ramai budak SPM terpaksa masuk periksa pakai surat kebenaran menduduki peperiksaan. Sebab ramai yang tidak tahu, kertas slip peperiksaan tuu kena letak atas meja.

- Ramai budak SPM main garis ja atas kertas jawapan OMR tu. Sebab takda orang tahu pun, benda tuu kena la bulat bagi hitam.

- Graf periksa SPM pun nanti kita mansuh laa. Sebab comfirm dibawah par punya.

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Do you believe in ghost?

Well I do believe in that creture. Coz in Al-Qur'an we can read about the ghost, as the Al-Qur'an is our guidence in our life. Why I talk about this creature, sometime all the media talk about the creepy thing considered with the ghost, though I never see them (I hope I will never meet or see them).

2 days ago, when I was awake at 2 am, I heard two or three cats mouned and fought outside my house, near my window, that was so annoying, for several minutes they did that. ugghhh..I was gonna pour out the water toward it, but because it was night, so I was afraid did that to them.

Then, I heard my sell phone rang, it was my boy friend, we talked a lil bit because the cats were so noisy. Then I heard someone near my garden whispered just like this

"SSSsstttttt" 

Gosh!!!!!! THAT SOUND FREAKIN ME OUT.

Then the cat just went away after that "creature" whispered. I could hear that sound so clearly, I didn't know wheter he or she.

But that didnt matter to me, aku pikir " ahhh...itu angin kot"

This incident happened again last night, it was almost the same, at 2 am, zaim called me, and then I heard that the cats mouned and fought, I felt so curious. I ask myself

" Can I hear that sound again?"
But, I couldn't hear it again last night, instead I heard someone just like shaked the tree outside my house near my window. OMG.......I heard the sprinkle of the water from the tree (because last night was raining hardly, but this insident happen after the rain). Then the cats just went away after the incident.

I think that the ghost will not endanger me, and he or she is a nice ghost. He or she protect me, he or she had chase the cat.

Can I sleep well again tonight?

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♥ Terima Kasih Kerana Sudi Membaca Entry Eddy Ezally ! Sila Beri Comment and Like la Kalau Suka ! ♥

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sy x marah

honestly, i'm not angry...towards anyone...

i won't let that negativity dominates me...it's unhealthy...

now, i'm the one who feels guilty...for making certain individual 'susah hati'...

i am sorry...i didn't mean to...

sahlah anda tidak kenal saya...

ade org ckp awak mara...kite pun jwblaa  - tak, eddy x mara...die nk tau je...

awak rase kite tulis cam marah ke?!!

tak pun...kite bace dengan lembut...

hehehehehe...ermmm...

dear friends, have you ever read any 'Cinderella' stories or watched any 'Cinderella' movies?!! any version will do, trust me OK...hargailah 'Cinderella' dlm kisah-kisah itu...

begitu jugaklaa 'malay cinderella'...lebih kuranglah...

selembut-lembut hati - takkan marah orang punyalah :)

semoga sentiasalah aku di bawah lindungan rahmatNya...aminn...

you can feel me if you read with soft tone (like what F did)...thank you!

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review muvee Sex and the city 2

baru sampai rumah.. td g tgok wayang..

Sex and the City 2 memang series favourite aku..movie yg 1st pon memang best..

after watching that movie, then i realize something about relationship..

Big memang seorang lelaki yang boleh buat perempuan rasa selamat but at the same time rasa takut.. :)
Walaupun sudah 2 tahun berkahwin, Carrie memilih untuk tidak mempunyai zuriat. bila tiba ulangtahun mereka, Carrie telah menghadiahkan seutas jam buat Big and at the same time die xpect benda yang special dari Big. tapi apa yang mengejutkan bila Big menghadiahkan flat screen.


terjadi sedikit pertengkaran kat situ yang membuatkan Carrie balik ke apartment bujangnya untuk menulis. dier cuma minta 2 hari berjauhan dari Big supaya dier boleh bersendirian. tindakan Carrie itu menyebabkan perasaan mereka untuk bersama semakin tinggi. (orang kater...kalau dekat bau busuk, dah jauh wangi lak yer)


so one day..Big bagi cadangan kat Carrie yang dier nak 2 hari dalam tempoh seminggu untuk bersendirian. dalam masa 2 hari tu dier boleh buat apa sajer yang dier suka. carrie macam tidak setuju but then..dier akur kehendak Big.jadi..perjalanan cerita ni lebih menyeronokkan bila Samantha mendapat undangan daripada seorang jutawan Arau Saudi tuk pergi ke Abu Dhabi. di sana mereka akan mendapat layanan first class tanpa bayaran!


klimaks nya SATC2 ni bila..Carrie telah berjumpa secara tak sengaja ngan Aidan. uols kenal kan sapa Aidan..kekasih lama Carrie yang juga telah berkahwin. pertemuan tak sengaja itu telah membawa mereka ke satu jamuan makan malam dimana mereka dengan secara tak sengaja telah berkucupan..hihihi...apa penyudah nya..adakah Big tahu?? uols tengok sendiri. satu je tak best tiz time..naper baju Carrie tak vouge macam episod lepas erkk...


setiap satu watak antara mereka berempat ada membawa mesej tersendiri n uols shuld tengok. masalah mencari pengasuh..masalah hormons, monopous. 

bagi aku, sebagai seorang isteri dan ibu yang berkerja..memang aku perlukan beberapa hari untuk bercuti. bercuti dari segala-galanya.ehh motiff?aku blum berkahwin la.. lol. melakukan beberapa kerja dalam masa yang sama memang penat ok. ada orang amik itu sebagai satu keseronokkan..malah ada yang amik sebagai satu cabaran. tapi siyess beb..kita (suami isteri) perlukan satu hari untuk menghabiskan masa bersama tanpa anak2.

Tapi rasa kecewa ngan movie ke 2 ni..banyak mempersendakan agama islam...

1. Mempersendakan perempuan arab yang pakai niqab..Siap gelakkan bila perempuan yang pakai niqab tu makan french fries sebab kena angkat purdah tiap kali dia nak suap..

2. Dalam satu insiden, perempuan2 arab selamatkan durang dan masuk dalam satu bilik..Pastu pompuan2 arab ni cakap durang suka NY n tanggalkan jubah..pakaian sume sexy.

3. Samantha berpakaian sexy di khalayak lelaki2 islam yang siap nak g semayang (siap ada azan) ..pastu handbag dia berterabur penuh ngan condom..pastu sume lelaki2 tu keliling dia n marah2..trus samantha bangun n menjerit2 ckp yess..condom2..sex...walawei melampau sangatla...

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Frozen

There was something different in your eyes, I could see that. I lost you two years ago, now that I could see you, but I couldn't reach you.

Sometimes, I ask myself, why I have to face this life, I know God always answer to all our prayers, but sometimes God says NO to our prayer.

Why I cannot reach you, why you wont tell me?
Do I make a mistake, by having this feeling?

I knew you, since we were a kid, I never paid attention to you, coz you are so ordinary, till now, you are a very quiet person, I remembered I saw you, when you still using your elementary uniform after school.

I just knew yer present and felt that you are exist two years ago, You held my hand when we were going to accross the street, Nothing special on it but why I felt the chemistry, I felt 
I WAS FROZEN in that crowded street, I felt nothing only your hand, which felt so gentle, touching the nerve and anoyed my blood. I felt nothing on my brain, it felt my body so light that I could fly to the sky and touch the clown.

Why, I have to felt this chemistry, I felt the electricity on my heart, why I had that heart bit, all as I got there they asked me if I can cover 3 more shifts this week, 2 of which I almost definitely can. Now, I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I noticed they're hiring right now. I'm not satisfied with my Whatcom job right now, mainly due to my hours. If I could work at both part-time, that'd be awesome.

Oh yeah, it's weird... I thought that, since Abbotsford has so many mennonites, the surrounding cities

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TOY STORY 3 review

Di sebalik 3D yang mengecewakan. Semuanya adalah terbaik!

4.6 dari 5 bintang.

Secara peribadinya, menonton 3D tidaklah sehebat yang disangka. 3D hanya berbaloi untuk menonton cerita pendek sebelum bermulanya cerita Toy Story. Di situ, kita akan nampak efek 3Dnya. Ya. Seperti sedia maklum, Pixar selalu buat cerita pendek di awal-awal cerita betul. Cerita yang bertajuk Day & Night adalah sangat menarik. Menceritakan dua angin yang bergaduh menunjukkan betapa mana satu best. Antara siang atau malam.

Itu aje yang 3D. Masuk Toy Story kurang 3D.

Kali ini mengisahkan Andy yang sudah masuk umur 17 tahun dan akan ke kolej. Mainan-mainan semua berasakan sedih kerana Andy sudah tidak bermain dengan mereka lagi. Mereka juga merasakan mereka bakal dijual atau pun didermakan kepada yang memerlukan. Tapi Woody, si mainan cowboy tidak merasakan begitu. Dia rasa Andy tak kan jual atau dermakan mereka semua. Mainan-mainan akan disimpan oleh Andy dan mungkin akan digunakan kembali sekiranya Andy mempunyai anak kelak.

Sehingga lah suatu hari mak Andy menyuruh Andy mengemas bilik kerana hari Andy pergi ke kolej hampir tiba. Di sini, twist plot sudah pun bermula. Apa yang akan berlaku? Adakan Andy akan ke kolej dengan membawa mainan? (Pasti tak cool) Atau pun mainan semua akan dijual atau didermakan? Lihat kesudahan di pawangan yang berdekatan.

Sedikit point-point menarik bagi saya dalam cerita ini:

• Banyak mainan Andy dah dijual.
• Banyak watak mainan baru yang digantikan.
• Buzz Lightyear dalam bahasa Sepanyol sangat kelakar.
• Jangan sangka Teddy Bear itu baik. Bad Teddy Bear is Bad!
• Andy berumur 17 tahun boleh tahan kacak.
• Banyak sentimental value dalam cerita ni. meleleh beb.
• Kepala bayi berpusing 360 darjah sangat menakutkan.
• Kemunculan istimewa! Totoro. Terbaik lah!

Pergi lah tengok. Antara movie terbaik tahun ni. Tak menang award eddy tak tahu la.

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♥ Terima Kasih Kerana Sudi Membaca Entry Eddy Ezally ! Sila Beri Comment and Like la Kalau Suka ! ♥

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love first flush

As Breakups Go, It Was An Ugly One.
Doors slammed. Insults hurled. Personal property destroyed. We both behaved badly.

Am I proud my myself? No, sir, I am not.
But come on. Seven years. Seven years he'd been living in this house, leading me to believe everything was fine, while behind that cool veneer of his, cracks were developing. Cracks that could destroy the very foundation of all we'd built.
By the time I discovered what he'd been up to, the damage was irreparable. How could I have been so blind?

In truth, I didn't want to see the destruction he'd wrought. It was too much; I was in denial.

For a while, anyway.
In the end, however, I had to acknowledge that something rotten was going on. I could no longer ignore the stench that hung in the air between us.

He had to go, but I knew I couldn't do it alone.
I had no choice but to reach out for help.

"Don't Blame Yourself,"

the plumber said and wiped his hands on a cloth he pulled from his hip pocket. "There was no way you could have known."
"Really?" I eyed the toilet leaning in the corner of the powder room, where the plumber had placed it after removing it from its perch over a large, open pipe in the floor. "I just feel so...so foolish."
"You have to let that go," the plumber said. "Listen, no one would have suspected what was going on under there." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the toilet. "I can't even find the leak, and I went over the entire thing with a magnifying glass."
"Oh, you're just saying that to be nice," I said and rooted in the pocket of my MC Hammer pants for a tissue.

The plumber's voice softened. "I know it's hard for you to hear this right now, but he was no good for you. I've seen his type before. It makes me sick that a nice lady of the house like yourself got mixed up with a bum like that."
"But...but he didn't seem that way when we first--"

The plumber held up his hand, stopping me mid-sentence. "They never do," he said. "But look at this." He pointed to a widening ring of mushy, rotting wood that encircled the septic pipe - a malodorous blight on an otherwise pristine hardwood floor. "Good guys don't treat a lady like that. Nope," he said, shaking his head, "he's a bad hat, that one."
I glanced at the toilet again, looking for some sign of remorse, but cocked at a rakish angle against the goldenrod wall, he instead looked, well, smug.
Be strong, I told myself.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked the plumber.
"I've got just the fella for you," he said, his face brightening. "Lloyd."

"'Lloyd'?"

"Yep." The plumber rummaged through his toolbox and produced a small catalog. He flipped through several pages, then planted his finger on one of the pictures and held it out for me to see. "Lloyd."

I studied the photo. Lloyd's smooth, clean lines and low profile were right up my alley, his water-efficient flushing technology and soft-close lid even more so.
"He seems...nice," I said then immediately regretted it. What if Lloyd was just another can-about-town?
Was I ready to take a chance - to bring someone new into my powder room? Seven years was a long time - what if everything had changed? What if [gulp] Lloyd didn't like me?
"I understand," the plumber said, his eyes kind. "You've been hurt."
I nodded and snorted into my tissue.

"If it helps at all," he continued, "Lloyd has been in my niece's house for four months now and she's very satisfied."
My head snapped up and my eyes met his. "Completely satisfied?"

"Let me put it this way," he said, lowering his voice and leaning toward me, "she's the happiest I've ever seen her."
"Oh, my," I breathed and fingered the catalog I had unknowingly crunched into a wad between my palms.

"May I ask you one more question?" I said with a slight quaver in my voice.
"You want to know if you can wait a while and get back to me, right?" the plumber said.

"No. I want to know if you think Lloyd will like this goldenrod color or if I should repaint before he gets here."

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merindui ayah

(ni post yg ke brape tah mengingatkan aku tentang ayah..)

Crying is always be my weakness!

I always cry when i'm sad n hurt..

I loved today..but I hated it as well..

Wake-up just morning I feel sad..

 My life turns miserable as hell.. 

Why oh why...when it gonna stop?

Why I always feel sad..

Homesick, maybe?!

I miss mummy and my Big Daddy T_T..

I dun know why..

I had been here almost for 1 years but I still can’t..

can’t to accept the environment here..huhuhu..

I want go back!!

I need my family..

No one cares about me more than my family..

I am and I know I am a spoiled kid.. Spoiled to the max.

My emotion is always up and down. I hate it.. 

Trying to deny it, but could not resist it..

Why oh why..I want my family..

Mummy n my Big Daddy..

I love you much and miss you a lot. I hate this feeling!

Sebak hati bila dengar lagu2 nasyid pasal ibu dan ayah..

aku sangat merindui dan menyayangi kedua-duanya..

Mak tempat aku mngenal dunia..

ayahlah tempat aku mengenal kehidupan..

Mak..tempat aku mencurahkan rasa..

tempat aku bermanja..

tempat aku menzahirkan semua emosi.. 

Mak setia disisi aku walau ada kalanya aku menyakiti hatinya..

Mak, ampunkan segala dosaku..

tak sanggup aku terus menjejaki dunia tanpa redhamu..

Ayah..mengajar aku setiap nilai keringat yang jatuh ke dunia..

ayah yang mengajar aku erti ketabahan..erti kekuatan..

ayah juga yang mengajar aku..

usaha itu tangga kejayaan..

telah aku buktikan dahulu pada mereka yang memandang rendah pada ayah aku..

aku mampu berjaya..

mengatasi setiap anak-anak yang mereka agungkan..

di sebalik kesyukuran itu..

terselit rasa bangga kerana membuat ayah tersenyum..

tapi aku juga tak lari dari menyakiti ayah..

tak aku sedar semakin dewasa, aku semakin lancang membantah..

tanpaku kenang kepahitan yang ayah korbankan..

AYAH, ampunkan juga dosa-dosaku..

akan sengsara hidup aku jika kau terguris hati..

ingin aku segera pulang..

mendakap antara satunya..

selagi masih bernyawa..

tak terbalas jasa antara satunya..

hidup aku kini penuh liku..

penuh kekesalan..keperitan..

tapi selamanya..di hatiku..

mak dan ayah tetap aku sanjung tinggi..

walaupun mereka sudah tidka lagi bersama

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